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Adult Risk Reduction
 |
“ Rape counselors and women
who have been raped by acquaintances recommend that you run, not walk,
from any person who displays any of these characteristics”: |
-
Emotional abuse (insults, uses
belittling comments, ignores other opinions)
-
Wants to control many elements
of another’s life (how to dress, who friends should be, which movie to
see to restaurant to eat at)
-
Negative talk about women in
general
-
Jealousy for no reason
-
Heavy drinking, drug use, or
attempts at intoxicating others
-
Agitation with one’s decision
to not get drunk, have sex or accompany him to his room or apartment
-
Refuses and gets angry about
sharing the expenses of a date
-
Uses physical violence, including
grabbing or pushing
-
Intimidation patterns (sitting
too close, blocking your way with his body, speaking like he knows you
better than he does, touching you without permission)
-
Anger when unable to handle
sexual and emotional frustration
-
Displays of being smarter or
socially superior than others
-
A fascination with weapons
-
Cruelty exhibited to animals,
children or people he can bully
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Individually they may not be
significant but as part of a pattern or behavior these are considered warning
signs of a potentially abusive person.
This chapter continues with
tips for avoiding acquaintance rape. It is stressed that women have
the right to set, communicate and be assertive about sexual limits. If
a person ignores a woman’s wishes, acting quickly increase her chances
of escape.
Tips on risk reduction and
maintaining control:
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There is a better chance of
identifying danger signals if sober
-
Learn about a new date from
friends and his previous dates
-
Talk over the exact plans for
the date in advance
-
Share expenses on a date
-
Take your own vehicle
-
Set up a system with someone
for a ride if stranded somewhere
-
Take self defense courses
-
Trust intuitive feelings, “vibes”
or “voices” (Very important because they are usually accurate sensors
of danger).
Data for the study also
pointed to ways to escape from assaults:
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Don’t quarrel with the rapist
(it often leads to a complete rape)
-
Yell and run (Crying and reasoning
have some effect on assailant but they are greatly inferior).
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Try to remain calm
-
Act quickly as soon as one feels
the danger
-
Fight forcefully if a decision
is made to fight
-
Talk to buy time until situation
changes, if necessary
-
Feigning attacks of hysterics,
vomiting, urinating or threatening the transmission of contagious disease
have also worked
-
Ultimately, however, each person
needs to make their own decisions about what too in the potentially unsafe
situations.
Information taken from “I Never
Called It Rape” by Robin Warshaw |
